F**k New Year’s Resolutions

If I see another title of an article telling me how to keep my New Year’s resolutions I will puke. I guess listening to Deftones’ “Hexagram” while writing that last sentence intensified that feeling.

I have been going through a rough time recently and it is nice to be in 2009. I just know that the only way to finish the race is by taking that first step. Who  gives a s**t if that sounds like a cliche. I need to remind myself today that I need to do the footwork in order to achieve what life has to offer. Let me just say that I have seen some horrible s**t these past few months and it has made me appreciate my lot in life a little more. I am happy that some people gave up on me, while others believed in me. It made me realize who really cares about their fellow human being and those that only care about themselves.

I miss my friend dearly. Five months after he has died and I still miss him. I miss that smirk on his face. I miss our little critiques of one another’s music or life experiences. I believe that some people come into your life for a life lesson. I believe one lesson he taught me is that you can do things the unconventional way. Another is that you may feel alone in your thoughts about self, but chances are someone feels the way you do right now or has experienced it. I miss our two hours of fun on Thursday nights. I miss you playing your music and telling a story about yourself. One thing that I have taken out of our friendship is that I have a little more empathy for my fellow man. I love you and know you are looking down on me right now. I just know…

I have an even greater appreciation for music. I was fortunate enough to see Radiohead live this year, as well as catch the Robert Plant/Alison Krauss experience. It was the first time I have seen Radiohead live. The icing on the cake was that Thom and the boys played “Paranoid Android.” I got to hear Alison’s angelic voice for the first time in a few years. I am looking forward to discovering that new song or new artist this year. It has been my saving grace. It has helped form more friendships in 2008 that I will cherish for a lifetime. And I think I have to pick Estelle’s “American Boy” as my favorite song of 2008 for some strange reason.